dissolve and decay:`

It's roughly 2:30 in the morning, and I'm falling into one of those moods again. No one's on msn or nexopia, and I'm half-bored. I was frustrated a few moments ago cause my internet kept shutting down on me on one particular site. So grr...I got a little angry.

But now that that's all said and done, let's move on a topic.

I think I have a problem. No, I don't have ADD though sometimes I wonder if I have ADHD. But my problem; my addiction? Music.

I was waiting for my computer to restart itself at like 12, while everyone else was in bed. It was really quiet and I could practically hear myself thinking. Then as the background on the desktop began to load--takes at least 2 minutes--I heard something.

There was no music on, and no way of music even reaching my ears. The speakers were off, but I still heard it. I heard 'The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You' by My Chemical Romance playing. It was faint, but I still heard it.

But no one was awake to play it.

I seriously think that listening to my music so loud has imprinted it inside my brain. Concerts don't bother me--usually just for the rest of the night, then the next day I'm fine. My ears ring after I listen to music super-past-max extreme when I'm downstairs on my shit computer. Which means that either my ear drums are going to burst, or the earphones are. And then they ring with the song I last heard, even as I'm going to bed.

That isn't normal, is it?

I told my friend, but we both have the same problem. Not the fact of the loudness--because I live in a townhouse and she lives in an apartment, so I can listen to mine louder than her. But the fact that every moment we can get our hands on music, we listen to it. It's crazy, but I love it.

I love music.

If it was a man, not only would I do him--I'd freaking marry him! ha ha. If that wasn't creepy, then I can so keep talking. But currently, my old elementary friend started talking to me. And I haven't talked to him since last year probably.

Before I went off to the loner friends.

I am serious when I say that. My friend's are all losers and everyone's got something against them. But that's why I love them, cause they all have some kind of problem. But we all have the same thing in common--we all love music.

That's what makes us different.

Fucking music. My one true love.